So this has been a tough week, and it's only been 4 days. I'm sure you've heard how women get after giving birth. Well luckily I'm not suffering from depression but the first 2 days at home were basically filled with crying and frustration and an enormous amount of sleep deprevation. And trying to heal from the pain of an episiotomy is new and exciting. Not really exciting.
My breaking point was when we went to see a lactation consultant on Tuesday out of pain and desperation. One look at my girl and she told us that Carolina looked jaundiced. So I got help with the feeding tactics so we could improve and rushed to a pediatrician. We hadn't picked one before she was born so went to the partner of the pediatrician the hospital assigned.
I'll be nice and say I really really didn't like this guy or how he was handling my kid. He said she wasn't too bad and not to worry. But he was a jerk and the office was dingy.
Got back in the car and made a call for a followup visit for the next day with a Cornell pediatrician on the UES and that was great. So she got a bruise on her head from delivery and that, being very common, was how her billy rubin (?) levels went up and she is still a bit yellow. She's great at pooping and that's how you lower your billy rubin levels. She has her next check up on the 15th.
My in laws are coming tomorrow to stay for a week so that night make it easier for us to have guests. Especially since it seems to be her best visiting time around 11am.
Update, days later:
I think it's safe to say that Carolyn Migliore, the lactation consultant with Cornell/New York-Presbyterian saved my life. Or at least made breastfeeding possible. 10-15 minutes in the walk-in clinic at E 76th St and she showed me how to told her, position and control her head and hands while getting the boob in her mouth. As well as how to care for my "boobies". And then made herself available to me on the phone the next day. It made ALL the difference. Without which I would have given up to the extreme pain and gone to bottles. Not because I wanted but because it was unbearable.
If any of my friends get pregnant, they each get these gifts:
1. Medela breast shield/therashells (survival for day time)
2. Medela lanolin cream
3. Medela hydro gel pads (not to be used at same time with lanolin)
4. Nursing breast pads (for nighttime) -- disposable or reusable. Doesn't matter.
5. Tylenol (for you, not the baby)
Breastfeeding is not easy and we are still working through it. As well as trying to establish some kind of sleep schedule or at least learning what she is saying with each kind of cry.
On the other side, she is totally awesome and cute! She absolutely loves to have her hair washed and Ismael is the best burper ever. And everyone has been happier since yesterday!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Two weeks early and not a minute too late
So on May 29th, about 9pm pains started and it was similar to other times in the previous 3 weeks. I didn't think much of it except that they were strong. I had been walking around the West Village with my friend Andrew and up through Union Square that afternoon and figured it was why Tiny Dancer was moving around funny and sending strong pains through my abdomen and down my legs. Since I was so exhausted from the walking earlier, I went to sleep about 9.30/10pm
Sometime around 4.30/5am I had a few waves of contraction-like pains but felt it was just from the day before. From a baby class we'd taken I knew that I should only be concerned about the contractions if they were 1 minute long, 5 minutes apart for 1 hour. The 511 of labor. And these weren't. Closer to 6pm, I was in the bathroom for about 30 minutes. Basically couldn't get off the toilet and then around 6.30 I threw up in the sink. Since I was really uncomfortable and, if I was being honest with myself, in a lot of pain -- Ismael took the lead and called the doctor. The off-hours service forwarded his message to the doctor on call who said that we should go to the hospital as soon as we were ready.
At this point, I'm still protesting that it's not labor contractions. "They aren't regular enough." Ismael wasn't having any of it since when they were happening they were strong and they were anywhere from 2-5 minutes apart and lasting 20-50 seconds each. So he called a car service and they were out front in about 5 minutes.
It was the longest cab ride to Manhattan. It really wasn't but the contractions kept coming.
When we arrived, I could barely walk up the ramp and a nurse coming off duty suggested to Ismael to get me a wheelchair. He did, and they let us up to the 6th floor. There wasn't anyone in the lobby and it was about 8/8.30am at this point. We were quickly checked in since I had filled out the paperwork and had it with us. We went to triage, where a doctor examined me and said I was already 4cm dilated and 90% effaced (or whatever it is). So I was admitted right away and brought to the labor and delivery unit.
They asked me if I wanted an epidural. Since the contractions were coming pretty strong and frequently I said YES to the epidural. So the next 30 minutes was me waiting for the anesthesiologist and trying to breathe. I took a lamaze class and knew how to do the breathing technique but practice and full on contractions aren't the same and I was starting to panic that I was REALLY in labor. Holy crap! This is it!
So I ignored the breathing techniques and just tried to breath at all. Eventually I started to use the breathing techniques but at first I was just shivering from being so nervous. The nurse, Angelica, was great. Kept me focused and helped me when the anesthesiologist resident was asking a lot of questions and setting me up. Since he put me in an awkward position and the proper anesthesiologist had to have me move. At this point I was having a contraction every minute, so moving myself to get set up was challenging. I was ready to deck the resident!
Finally the epidural is in and about 3 contractions later, I wasn't feeling them.
The doctor came to check on me, I had dilated more and she said she'd be back in a few hours to check on me. A few hours!? You mean this is going to be a few hours more? I was already getting worn out from the pain.
They came in about an hour later to have me turn on my side. At this point my legs were like jello so turning was pretty challenging. Apparently the contractions were happening so quickly and for so long that it was compromising the oxygen to the baby. So the next few hours were me and Ismael in the room, waiting around. We talked about a lot of every day stuff and called our parents to let them know it was happening. The nurse, residents and doctor would check on me periodically and I had to turn sides a few more times.
Somewhere around 2.30 I had already given myself 2 "bumps up" of the anesthesia I realized I was feeling the contractions again. So I asked the nurse if I could do another 'bump up' since I didn't want to overdo it (apparently I couldn't even if I wanted) but she was more concerned that I was ready to start pushing.
So the anesthesiologist resident came back. Asked me some questions, got me frustrated again, and eventually gave me a different injection of something. My left side/belly had started to feel the contractions but no where else. The doctor came in and agreed with the nurse and said I was indeed ready to start pushing.
This is now somewhere around 3.30pm -- and I push. I feel most of the contractions start, and some before they showed up on the monitor and pushed like a champ every time. I was bloody determined to get this kid out as quickly as possible since I was relieved and anxious that the end was near and we'd finally have the baby out!
Pushing is exhausting.
Just at the end they had to give me an episiotomy. The doctor asked if I was okay with it, I replied like I had every time they asked if I wanted to push again "If she'll come out faster, then yes." So cut and a few pushes later, she was out. It was now about 5pm.
While they took her to clean up and take her measurements, I waited intently to hear her first cry. It took a bit of time, but when I heard it I was SO relieved. Then they had to get the placenta out. I thought that would be a breeze, but it was pretty damn painful and required a push or two. Then they started to stitch me up. I was glad I had all the drugs in me so I couldn't feel it.
What seemed like an eternity, they finished with me and let me hold her for the first time. It was completely surreal. I just remember saying to Ismael, "She's really here. I can't believe she's ours." Lord knows what I really said, but that was the gist of it.
They had to take her back at some point since there was apparently fluid in her lungs and she was breathing quickly. But the pediatrician had come in and said she was alright. (By the next day she was totally fine.) But they had to try to remove more of the fluid with a suctiony thing.
I just kept looking at her thinking. She's HUGE! How did she fit inside me? I was also grateful she was out. With all the nurses and doctor out, we took a quick first photo of me and her with my iPhone, and then Ismael took her and I took two photos of him with her. Then he says to me, we should name her... So we said all 4 names we had been thinking of and waited to see her reaction.
1. Carolina -- she responded
2. Sofia -- she responded but less so
3. Isabella -- she just laid on my chest
4. Lucia -- she made some noise but no facial response
So we did it again. Same order. Both times she responded to Carolina most and we said, Ok. Carolina Sofia, that's your name.
I realized that we were going to be moved to the maternity ward shortly and I was supposed to be breastfeeding this kid since that's what we wanted. I thought, well, I better try now. I did. It was strange and painful. But I wanted to get in a try before they put her in the nursery.
Had I known then what I know now, I would have immediately INSISTED on speaking to the lactation consultant right away. But I had been told that I'd see one regardless and figured that it was something I'd just get the next day. It never happened, even though I asked twice. And I hadn't figured on the stitches being so painful.
Needless to say, by the time it was time to check out of the hospital on Monday morning, I hadn't seen anyone that was specifically helpful for the breastfeeding. I had asked that she sleep in the nursery both nights since I had no idea what I was doing. And the two times they brought her to me from the nursery she was screaming her head off with hunger. So I didn't want to deny her and just let her basically chomp on my nipples. I didn't know what I was doing and clearly neither did she. I guess she got something since she'd settle down but I definitely needed help and the nurses were so busy with so many, many patients the weekend we were there that I didn't get the attention I needed. More importantly, to me, it wasn't the attention I had expected from a hospital that has such a great reputation. Especially after the way that the Labor and Delivery unit treated me, which was really exceptional.
Sometime around 4.30/5am I had a few waves of contraction-like pains but felt it was just from the day before. From a baby class we'd taken I knew that I should only be concerned about the contractions if they were 1 minute long, 5 minutes apart for 1 hour. The 511 of labor. And these weren't. Closer to 6pm, I was in the bathroom for about 30 minutes. Basically couldn't get off the toilet and then around 6.30 I threw up in the sink. Since I was really uncomfortable and, if I was being honest with myself, in a lot of pain -- Ismael took the lead and called the doctor. The off-hours service forwarded his message to the doctor on call who said that we should go to the hospital as soon as we were ready.
At this point, I'm still protesting that it's not labor contractions. "They aren't regular enough." Ismael wasn't having any of it since when they were happening they were strong and they were anywhere from 2-5 minutes apart and lasting 20-50 seconds each. So he called a car service and they were out front in about 5 minutes.
It was the longest cab ride to Manhattan. It really wasn't but the contractions kept coming.
When we arrived, I could barely walk up the ramp and a nurse coming off duty suggested to Ismael to get me a wheelchair. He did, and they let us up to the 6th floor. There wasn't anyone in the lobby and it was about 8/8.30am at this point. We were quickly checked in since I had filled out the paperwork and had it with us. We went to triage, where a doctor examined me and said I was already 4cm dilated and 90% effaced (or whatever it is). So I was admitted right away and brought to the labor and delivery unit.
They asked me if I wanted an epidural. Since the contractions were coming pretty strong and frequently I said YES to the epidural. So the next 30 minutes was me waiting for the anesthesiologist and trying to breathe. I took a lamaze class and knew how to do the breathing technique but practice and full on contractions aren't the same and I was starting to panic that I was REALLY in labor. Holy crap! This is it!
So I ignored the breathing techniques and just tried to breath at all. Eventually I started to use the breathing techniques but at first I was just shivering from being so nervous. The nurse, Angelica, was great. Kept me focused and helped me when the anesthesiologist resident was asking a lot of questions and setting me up. Since he put me in an awkward position and the proper anesthesiologist had to have me move. At this point I was having a contraction every minute, so moving myself to get set up was challenging. I was ready to deck the resident!
Finally the epidural is in and about 3 contractions later, I wasn't feeling them.
The doctor came to check on me, I had dilated more and she said she'd be back in a few hours to check on me. A few hours!? You mean this is going to be a few hours more? I was already getting worn out from the pain.
They came in about an hour later to have me turn on my side. At this point my legs were like jello so turning was pretty challenging. Apparently the contractions were happening so quickly and for so long that it was compromising the oxygen to the baby. So the next few hours were me and Ismael in the room, waiting around. We talked about a lot of every day stuff and called our parents to let them know it was happening. The nurse, residents and doctor would check on me periodically and I had to turn sides a few more times.
Somewhere around 2.30 I had already given myself 2 "bumps up" of the anesthesia I realized I was feeling the contractions again. So I asked the nurse if I could do another 'bump up' since I didn't want to overdo it (apparently I couldn't even if I wanted) but she was more concerned that I was ready to start pushing.
So the anesthesiologist resident came back. Asked me some questions, got me frustrated again, and eventually gave me a different injection of something. My left side/belly had started to feel the contractions but no where else. The doctor came in and agreed with the nurse and said I was indeed ready to start pushing.
This is now somewhere around 3.30pm -- and I push. I feel most of the contractions start, and some before they showed up on the monitor and pushed like a champ every time. I was bloody determined to get this kid out as quickly as possible since I was relieved and anxious that the end was near and we'd finally have the baby out!
Pushing is exhausting.
Just at the end they had to give me an episiotomy. The doctor asked if I was okay with it, I replied like I had every time they asked if I wanted to push again "If she'll come out faster, then yes." So cut and a few pushes later, she was out. It was now about 5pm.
While they took her to clean up and take her measurements, I waited intently to hear her first cry. It took a bit of time, but when I heard it I was SO relieved. Then they had to get the placenta out. I thought that would be a breeze, but it was pretty damn painful and required a push or two. Then they started to stitch me up. I was glad I had all the drugs in me so I couldn't feel it.
What seemed like an eternity, they finished with me and let me hold her for the first time. It was completely surreal. I just remember saying to Ismael, "She's really here. I can't believe she's ours." Lord knows what I really said, but that was the gist of it.
They had to take her back at some point since there was apparently fluid in her lungs and she was breathing quickly. But the pediatrician had come in and said she was alright. (By the next day she was totally fine.) But they had to try to remove more of the fluid with a suctiony thing.
I just kept looking at her thinking. She's HUGE! How did she fit inside me? I was also grateful she was out. With all the nurses and doctor out, we took a quick first photo of me and her with my iPhone, and then Ismael took her and I took two photos of him with her. Then he says to me, we should name her... So we said all 4 names we had been thinking of and waited to see her reaction.
1. Carolina -- she responded
2. Sofia -- she responded but less so
3. Isabella -- she just laid on my chest
4. Lucia -- she made some noise but no facial response
So we did it again. Same order. Both times she responded to Carolina most and we said, Ok. Carolina Sofia, that's your name.
I realized that we were going to be moved to the maternity ward shortly and I was supposed to be breastfeeding this kid since that's what we wanted. I thought, well, I better try now. I did. It was strange and painful. But I wanted to get in a try before they put her in the nursery.
Had I known then what I know now, I would have immediately INSISTED on speaking to the lactation consultant right away. But I had been told that I'd see one regardless and figured that it was something I'd just get the next day. It never happened, even though I asked twice. And I hadn't figured on the stitches being so painful.
Needless to say, by the time it was time to check out of the hospital on Monday morning, I hadn't seen anyone that was specifically helpful for the breastfeeding. I had asked that she sleep in the nursery both nights since I had no idea what I was doing. And the two times they brought her to me from the nursery she was screaming her head off with hunger. So I didn't want to deny her and just let her basically chomp on my nipples. I didn't know what I was doing and clearly neither did she. I guess she got something since she'd settle down but I definitely needed help and the nurses were so busy with so many, many patients the weekend we were there that I didn't get the attention I needed. More importantly, to me, it wasn't the attention I had expected from a hospital that has such a great reputation. Especially after the way that the Labor and Delivery unit treated me, which was really exceptional.
Friday, May 29, 2009
first day transition
Yesterday was my last day of work before my "maternity vacation" starts. I'm calling these 2 weeks between when I'm due and when I stop working my "maternity vacation" since I don't have anything in particular to do but am not a mom yet.
I feel really anxious about all of this. If I think about the fact, really face it, that I'm about to be someone's mom. Someone who is so small and will really, actually need me -- it's really overwhelming and yet beautiful in some way. I was awoken this morning at about 4am with this mildly intense pain in my lower abdomen. It was pretty constant so I don't think it was contractions, felt more like cramps. Reminded me in a way of the residual pains I had after the miscarriage last year.
Speaking of which, I need to buy some newborn diapers -- just to have more than one brand around in case the ones we have she doesn't fit into well. And I should get some pads for myself since apparently this is going to be an on-going thing for a few weeks while at home.
Spending time with myself at home makes me realize that my anxiety has more to do with my fear of what's coming than being bored. If I'd never had a miscarriage, I wonder how different this would all be. I feel like going through that blew away any naivety I had about pregnancy. And, wow, she's coming. This is really happening.
I hate roller coaster rides, and this feels just like waiting on line to get on a really big one. I just need to focus on my experiences diving and some how that makes it better.
Time to get distracted by something more constructive than what's in my head!
I feel really anxious about all of this. If I think about the fact, really face it, that I'm about to be someone's mom. Someone who is so small and will really, actually need me -- it's really overwhelming and yet beautiful in some way. I was awoken this morning at about 4am with this mildly intense pain in my lower abdomen. It was pretty constant so I don't think it was contractions, felt more like cramps. Reminded me in a way of the residual pains I had after the miscarriage last year.
Speaking of which, I need to buy some newborn diapers -- just to have more than one brand around in case the ones we have she doesn't fit into well. And I should get some pads for myself since apparently this is going to be an on-going thing for a few weeks while at home.
Spending time with myself at home makes me realize that my anxiety has more to do with my fear of what's coming than being bored. If I'd never had a miscarriage, I wonder how different this would all be. I feel like going through that blew away any naivety I had about pregnancy. And, wow, she's coming. This is really happening.
I hate roller coaster rides, and this feels just like waiting on line to get on a really big one. I just need to focus on my experiences diving and some how that makes it better.
Time to get distracted by something more constructive than what's in my head!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
And we still wait
Even though the due date isn't until June 11th it feels like we are waiting forever to meet her. I went to my weekly appointment and I'm no more dilated than last week but she did drop more! So we are a little disappointed she's not in a hurry to come put but we can wait. It's nearly time!!
Monday, May 25, 2009
The discomfort of waiting
So for at least a week there have been various pains and discomfort that lead us to think she is really going to be born earlier than June 11th. Like last night... Cramps but not proper contractions. At least not the way I've heard it described. It's supposed to basically be a full abdominal and back pain that won't let up. Sounds more intense, or at least bigger, than having a miscarriage. I'm sure when labor finally starts I won't have any doubt what it is.
Working from home has proven to be more stressful than going in to work. It's since I still care. Probably too much. Today is Memorial Day so no work. And my last day is Thursday. So only 3 work days more then I'm done for 3 months. I'm really worried I'll be overwhelmed with the baby or lonely. I like to have a reason to do something.
Taking care of the baby will absolutely be a big enough reason to feel purpose but it's a whole world that I've only watched and "visited" but never owned. I'm having the hardest time of giving up control. And it'll be the best thing once I learn how. It's always been the main topic of therapy.
Today will be a nice day. Relax, watch him playing Grand Theft Auto, then have an "adventure adventure" afternoon in Jackson Heights.
Walking around makes her move around less and contraction-like pains more. Last night she was moving so strongly I cried. I needed to be calmed down a little. She didnt let up until I stood up and swayed back and forth. I was really tired but doing that was better than her trying to stand up while inside.
Ever since she got big enough to push into my ribs and push her little butt through my belly. Really stretching me out. So I should walk more, I guess, and i prefer to have a reason why I'm walking around. An errand or visit someone or something. Even if I do walk slowly these days.
My poor husband. He walks with me, carries everything, helps me up the stairs. He never complains and I'm grateful for all the support. I do feel like he must get bored. Like he's hanging out with an old lady. At least it'll be over soon enough and I get my body back and finally, finally get to meet this little butt dancer I have inside. What a relief that will be.
We have the bag for the hospital ready and I keep having the feeling it'll either end up not coming with us for one reason or another or it will be only partially useful. Whatever. We have it with what we've been told is important and go with that.
I still haven't got a stroller, sling, or pediatrician. I want her here to try out any transportation and I don't know any local dr I trust and the ones from the hospital's group aren't taking any new patients. Really unfortunate since it would be convenient and I trust Columbia Presbyterian. Well, it's New York Presbyterian now. Maybe I should see if Cornell has any pediatricians taking new patients.
Working from home has proven to be more stressful than going in to work. It's since I still care. Probably too much. Today is Memorial Day so no work. And my last day is Thursday. So only 3 work days more then I'm done for 3 months. I'm really worried I'll be overwhelmed with the baby or lonely. I like to have a reason to do something.
Taking care of the baby will absolutely be a big enough reason to feel purpose but it's a whole world that I've only watched and "visited" but never owned. I'm having the hardest time of giving up control. And it'll be the best thing once I learn how. It's always been the main topic of therapy.
Today will be a nice day. Relax, watch him playing Grand Theft Auto, then have an "adventure adventure" afternoon in Jackson Heights.
Walking around makes her move around less and contraction-like pains more. Last night she was moving so strongly I cried. I needed to be calmed down a little. She didnt let up until I stood up and swayed back and forth. I was really tired but doing that was better than her trying to stand up while inside.
Ever since she got big enough to push into my ribs and push her little butt through my belly. Really stretching me out. So I should walk more, I guess, and i prefer to have a reason why I'm walking around. An errand or visit someone or something. Even if I do walk slowly these days.
My poor husband. He walks with me, carries everything, helps me up the stairs. He never complains and I'm grateful for all the support. I do feel like he must get bored. Like he's hanging out with an old lady. At least it'll be over soon enough and I get my body back and finally, finally get to meet this little butt dancer I have inside. What a relief that will be.
We have the bag for the hospital ready and I keep having the feeling it'll either end up not coming with us for one reason or another or it will be only partially useful. Whatever. We have it with what we've been told is important and go with that.
I still haven't got a stroller, sling, or pediatrician. I want her here to try out any transportation and I don't know any local dr I trust and the ones from the hospital's group aren't taking any new patients. Really unfortunate since it would be convenient and I trust Columbia Presbyterian. Well, it's New York Presbyterian now. Maybe I should see if Cornell has any pediatricians taking new patients.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
yesterday was exciting for no good reason
So after my weekly internal checkup on Tuesday, there was some 'activity' in terms of more, little contractions and the fluids of the red color. This is all expected but a surprise to us since we're new at this. And the following morning there was more fluid and some mucus. So I call the doctor and unless it's accompanied by regular contractions, there's not much to get excited about. Just in case, I didn't do any "work from home" and went shopping. I realized I had been putting off getting a few things that, if we're going to the hospital, I've been told I MUST HAVE.
So off to return some baby gifts that were in the 3 month size. I can't tell you the number of 3 month old clothes we have. She will simply not be this size for long enough to wear all of it, so I returned some to get credit and buy whatever she needs once she's here and I know how big she actually is. Or save it for next year's purchases.
I then realized I needed at least one nursing bra, and never got those newborn undershirts with the side snaps that I am supposed to have since she'll still have her umbilical cord when she first gets home.
And while at the baby store, of course I saw other things that I thought I should get.
So 4 hours later, I called my husband to join him for lunch. I then went off to the drugstore to get some baby shampoo. I really wonder what I absolutely need, but at least I have the 'hospital bag' all set.
My lovely friend in FL sent me a bag of toiletries so i wouldn't have to buy everything. But it's at my parents home and i have no idea when I'm getting that and thinking that this baby could come any day now, I didn't want to wait. So I guess I'll have duplicates.
My lovely mother-in-law was so concerned that I might pop, she even offered to come up from Mexico to be with us until the baby comes. Which could be another 3-4 weeks. She's concerned that I'm at home alone. She doesn't believe I should carry things. If she had any idea how much stuff I've been bringing home from the office and going shopping, and just general commuting, I think she'd be surprised and tell me to stop doing it. But you know, I don't carry more than I can comfortably and my husband helps me a lot. She wanted to be there to help me get a cab and carry the hospital bag. She makes me laugh; I think it'll be okay. If I was her, I can't think of anything more boring than hanging around our apartment with me waiting for the baby to come. Especially since I'm still working, even though I'm at home.
So, it amounted to nothing. A day's worth of random contractions and fluids.
I think it was the fact that I am already 2cm dilated that made either of us think anything was going to happen.
I still wonder what it'll be like to have a Gemini in the house, especially with a cusp Aries and Leo.
And today, Tiny Dancer must not like the fact I've been sitting down so much since she's been moving around a lot more than she was the past 2 days when I was doing errands. She really does prefer that I'm mobile and active. Me too...
So off to return some baby gifts that were in the 3 month size. I can't tell you the number of 3 month old clothes we have. She will simply not be this size for long enough to wear all of it, so I returned some to get credit and buy whatever she needs once she's here and I know how big she actually is. Or save it for next year's purchases.
I then realized I needed at least one nursing bra, and never got those newborn undershirts with the side snaps that I am supposed to have since she'll still have her umbilical cord when she first gets home.
And while at the baby store, of course I saw other things that I thought I should get.
So 4 hours later, I called my husband to join him for lunch. I then went off to the drugstore to get some baby shampoo. I really wonder what I absolutely need, but at least I have the 'hospital bag' all set.
My lovely friend in FL sent me a bag of toiletries so i wouldn't have to buy everything. But it's at my parents home and i have no idea when I'm getting that and thinking that this baby could come any day now, I didn't want to wait. So I guess I'll have duplicates.
My lovely mother-in-law was so concerned that I might pop, she even offered to come up from Mexico to be with us until the baby comes. Which could be another 3-4 weeks. She's concerned that I'm at home alone. She doesn't believe I should carry things. If she had any idea how much stuff I've been bringing home from the office and going shopping, and just general commuting, I think she'd be surprised and tell me to stop doing it. But you know, I don't carry more than I can comfortably and my husband helps me a lot. She wanted to be there to help me get a cab and carry the hospital bag. She makes me laugh; I think it'll be okay. If I was her, I can't think of anything more boring than hanging around our apartment with me waiting for the baby to come. Especially since I'm still working, even though I'm at home.
So, it amounted to nothing. A day's worth of random contractions and fluids.
I think it was the fact that I am already 2cm dilated that made either of us think anything was going to happen.
I still wonder what it'll be like to have a Gemini in the house, especially with a cusp Aries and Leo.
And today, Tiny Dancer must not like the fact I've been sitting down so much since she's been moving around a lot more than she was the past 2 days when I was doing errands. She really does prefer that I'm mobile and active. Me too...
Friday, May 1, 2009
contractions and expansions
Last night was the first time I've experienced any pre-labor contractions. Or at least I think I did. It very nearly stopped me in my tracks, was about 10-15 seconds long and happened about 3-4 times over the course of 2 hours. So nothing to worry about. I've been 'leaky' too as of this past Tuesday, but again, not enough to be concerned about or know labor is really coming. This morning, while working from home and on a conference call, my lower back really hurt for about 20-30 seconds. I'm glad I'm going to my holistic spine guy today.
My pimples are definitely coming back and my hair is definitely falling out like it used to. And this baby is DEFINITELY bigger. She stretches and 'dances' and ocassionally bangs around (her dad says she's like a basketball in there sometimes). And when she stretches, she now reaches farther apart in there as well as pushes further out.
My next appointment is next Friday, so a week from today. I wish there was another ultrasound so I could see her again.
We've pretty much decided on a name for her. I think it'll suit her.
I get nearly 3-4 hours of sleep before I'm awoken to go to the bathroom or I'm hungry. She usually helps to wake me up by kicking me when we're hungry. My pattern has become go to bed between 9-11pm, get up around 3pm, then 4.30 or 5, then either sleep through until 7 or wake up every 40-50 minutes.
I'm nervous about labor, which I'm sure will make it feel worse because of my apprehension about dealing with the pain. I used to be good at dealing with pain but it seems that either the hormones in my body or the extra blood going through to support this baby makes me feel more sensitive to pain. I'm mostly confident I can do this, but funnily enough, more relieved in the fact that I don't get a choice. It's going to happen, and when it does, I'll be in the moment dealing with it. I don't get to plan this. And for a "planner", I find this a relief.
My father looked at me this past weekend and said "I think she's going to be early." Well, since I'm just 34 weeks pregnant now, that makes me a bit nervous. I don't want her to come out until she's done 'cooking'. But he has a sense about these things. Then I start to wonder if by just saying that, I've started to have any control over what's going on, hence the mini contractions. Maybe not.
I'd really love to be able to sleep more. I know I'm not supposed to lie on my back, so i lie on my sides, which I've pretty much always slept on my side. But now I find that one side or both goes numb or sore. Mostly sore. It's exhausting being tired. I can't even imagine what it'll be like when she's finally here.
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