Busy week and it's only Wednesday

So on Sunday, Carolina locked herself in the bathroom. Without clothes on. Having just gone pee pee in her potty. With the lights off. Sigh... so after about 10 minutes of trying, we called the police. Eventually, after another 10-20 minutes, and still not able to open the door from the other side (let's just chalk that up to inexperience with screwdrivers), I was able to talk Carolina into unlocking it from her side.

She didn't panic very much, which was surprising given the situation. But since our landlord had never put a correctly sized door on the bathroom (but a lock, yes?) there is about 2-3" of space below the door. So she could see us and we could play "toesies" and I could give her books, to which she said no to all of them. At least she could see me when I was on the floor talking to her. And so, eventually, after asking for the second or third time, she understood which part of the doorknob I meant (since I referred to it as the straight line she had turned earlier) and she did it.

So she got herself out!

And then the police came an hour later. I had since called 911 to cancel the request, but not surprisingly, the request wasn't cancelled. And these poor, totally hot and stressed out (but very friendly) cops came running up the stairs. I explained what happened and they looked relieved as it was possible that their delay meant a 2 year old was locked in a bathroom alone for just over an hour.

Then on Tuesday after school, Carolina tells me that someone pushed her and someone else hit her. I was not pleased as this isn't the first time I'm hearing that she's being pushed. During her nap, I called the director but no one answered. After briefly talking with my parents about it, and I should really know better than to tell my dad anything bad that happens to Carolina as he's very protective of her (I really called to talk to my mom, the teacher, but there you go they were both home) and he got pretty angry about it. They explained that as often as it seems to happen, it's a bad sign about how the classroom is run. I've no idea as she's our first and this is her first experience in school but it felt wrong.

I called the director again, who'd never gotten my message. Explained what I understood from Carolina and she went to talk to the teacher. The teacher told the director that yes, a little boy pushed Carolina out of the circle line but it wasn't a big deal so she didn't tell me. But since I'd called about this kind of thing two weeks ago, the director set up a meeting for me to speak to the teacher tomorrow morning after we drop off Carolina. So, I'll find out from a grown up's perspective what is happening.

It's really hard to get contextual information from a toddler, even one as chatty as my daughter. But what I'm going to struggle with, I'm guessing, is what the teacher sees and the context she observes it in and how my daughter is perceiving it. And I'm wondering if Carolina is doing anything to provoke this reaction. I'd be super-duper surprised if she is, and that would concern me more as it would be completely out of her personality to be an instigator. Anyway...

What really bothered me from the start was just after she started school she started to be more aggressive. She started to push us away and say 'no' or protest much more forcefully. I realize this is part of being a 3 year old, as she's really into protesting and procrastinating with things she doesn't want to do (go to sleep, put on clothes to go out, blah blah blah). It's just that it happened right away when she started going to school. So something is up, I just don't know what it is exactly or how much is expected adjustment vs. aggression from other kids. And they let the kids cry for what I understand (from other parents not my daughter) to be long periods of time. I'm certain this will stress out the other kids, especially one like Carolina who is very empathetic.

I really, really, really, really, really want to send her to this lovely Montessori school in Fort Lee. Really, really. It's really, really, expensive and moving is a pain, and a huge adjustment for a preschooler, and apartments there aren't cheaper and transportation will be more for commuting, and, ideally, we'd get a car, which is more money. So it's just all money we don't have flying out the window. But I really (have I mentioned really) want her in there. It is so calm and organized and focused and there's no yelling or screaming or crying. And I know enrollment for the fall is closed as it's already mid-April and they had enrollment in late March.

Ok, good, so now I'm stressing about money and a contraction starts. I should go wake up the sleeping beauty as it's been quite a long time for a nap and I could use a cup of tea. My allergies are really bad and I think it might be turning into a cold.

Tomorrow I'll be 36 weeks pregnant. This kid might not have dropped yet but my body is certainly getting ready. I'm ready. Let's go!

First few weeks of school

The two most standout things about Carolina going to school are these:
1. She doesn't cry or get upset or wave goodbye when we leave. She just walks right in and goes to the teacher to have her coat taken off.
2. She's agitated when she gets home, like she's a total fidget. It has taken as long as 1.5-2.5 hours for her to quiet down to take a nap after she's had some lunch and we've read 3 stories.

Since I'm thinking that this agitation is part of adapting to going to school for the first time, I'm spending more time with her reading and figuring out how much on a daily basis. Right now, if she's going to fall asleep within 30-60 minutes of me leaving her in her room-- I need to spend time with her for about 1-1.5 hours. And I've found that tickling her is a great way for her to expend some energy and relax.

I tried letting her watch a single Caillou episode (~10 minutes) today after lunch to see if that would help. I'm not sure if it did and I know it didn't make it worse. She comes home each time telling me how tired she is but she's also really wound up. Apparently this is normal. I, of course, have no idea.

On her non-school days, I'm pushing the time we go into her room to start reading a little earlier and spend more time reading. That seems to be getting nap time on non-school days to be a little more 'regular.'

I would say that she's starting to give up naps except that when she sleeps, she still sleeps for 2 hours. So depending on the day, I give her until 3 or 4 pm to get her rest. If it's not 2 hours, then tough noogies. Ha! If I let her sleep past then, she's not tired enough for bedtime at night.

It's only been a few weeks so I'm sure this will all eventually stop being "something" and she and I will know what we need to do so she gets the rest she needs. (And the rest I need as most days I need a bit or a lot of a nap as this pregnancy goes on.)

And she always comes home with a clean diaper. I know they support potty training but I still don't know how on a daily basis. I actually called the director to find out. She's about 90% pooping in the potty all the time and getting 10-20% of pee in there, too. Since she is proud of herself when she does go, and she goes when she wants, I've backed off a lot and don't do a lot of encouraging. I just ask, and if she wants to, I'm there! If she doesn't, I don't always try as hard as before just to get her to sit down, especially now that I know she wants to when she is ready.

The teacher's aide told Ismael this morning when he dropped her off that Carolina is very mature. That if a kid pushes her, she just turns around and says, "Don't do that" and the kid will stop. She doesn't push back. He took it as a great compliment, I just thought "Don't push my kid you little rug rat!". That's why it's good I'm not at school with her. I'm actually not too surprised at her reaction. She's not very aggressive but she is confident, and she'd only push if it was too much for her to handle. I'd like to say my parenting has anything to do with it, but I really think that's just who she is and I encourage her to be herself.

Speaking of my parenting, I have to say that I'm ready for her brother to be born. I'm uncomfortable a lot of the time, more so than I remember being with Carolina. We're still weighing our opinions about circumcision as we REALLY need to know what we want before he's born. For me, the only thing that I agree with in terms of being pro-circumcision is that he will not remember it and it'll heal REALLY fast in comparison to any other time in his life.  I feel that this is a big deal and I'd like him to keep all his parts, assuming they all work correctly, because they all serve a purpose.

I have a sneaking suspicion, like his sister, he'll let us know what he needs right away. So we'll see.

day care, montessori pre-school and new york city

Holy crap. I've started to research day care in the city (Queens, Brooklyn and Manhattan) and also look into Montessori for pre-school for Miss C. I knew that private school, and a good one that is clean, structured, responsible and well, elite (even just a little elitist) was expensive. I knew that private school can be as much as $20,000 -- but day care starting at over $7,000 for two half days a week?

My jaw hit the floor. It hurt. I then looked at other schools. I started to look in NJ. Not much better.

I should get a friend who's in education in the city because this is overwhelming and expensive. And there are WAITING LISTS for day care!

Good lord... I need a drink :)

In other news, Miss C has been having trouble napping. The other day she slept for nearly 3 hours, but all the days before and after, starting last Thursday/Friday, she's only napping one hour and having a heck of a time relaxing to fall asleep. Even with a bottle.

I'm perplexed. Maybe it's a phase but I sense something is up. She is more huggy than usual, which is nice, but she's also really, really into me holding her around naptime. If she gets up and is tired, like today, I must hold her for nearly 30-45 minutes before she feels comfortable for me to change her back to her clothes and walk around.

I'll figure this out but right now I'm stumped. Night time sleep is fractured with head banging.

Maybe she's just not getting enough exercise these days since it's been so very cold, wet/snowy, and otherwise unsuitable to going outside for play. Maybe it's just that simple...

I have been enjoying reading At Home by Bill Bryson. If you like history, well Western and in particular English and American history and knowing about how people lived before, this is a good read. I love all the etymology about words. Love it! Plus I got it from the local library, which is always nice to borrow books as our personal library is busting at the seems and there's no room for more books.