Went to Mexico, came back with chatty Spanish speakers

Well, I can't say they're both talking in Spanish all the time, but I can say that Carolina's resistance has lessened. Playing with her (mostly) bilingual cousins made her want to talk in Spanish more. 

The baby also picked up more. He now will greet people with an "hola", instead of "hello." He's also gotten a little better at walking by himself instead if needing to be carried everywhere. 

He's got three new teeth coming in. And has a cold. I think there's some infection since the mucus is thick and yellow. But no fever so nothing big. 

Carolina really enjoyed visiting the family. I have to say, for first time, since my very first visit to vallarta, I had a really good time as well. It made me think I could live there. It's still too violent and corrupt, on an individual's level, for me, and I don't believe the educational system, or a culture for pursuing learning, is in place but it was nice. 

What I like about it for the children is that there is trustworthy, loving family in many places. Extended family are friends and the culture tolerates whatever a kid is going to do. It's really much more relaxed, not lazy. 

I really liked the weather, too. Secretly, I'm getting sick of the cold. Although I find it reassuring that it gets cold and snowy. It's not Christmas without the cold and snow. For me, it's really not. It never feels like Christmas when we're there. Plus all their holiday songs aren't mine and tv shows aren't either. The little cultural cues that tell me it's Christmas are missing. 

But, for the kids, who don't have those in place, it's great. It's running outside without shoes and having a great time with fewer restrictions. Eating cookies and candies, and believing that Mexicans are friendly, fun, loving people. My kids have no idea that Mexicans are viewed in a negative way in the States. So, for me, it's really interesting, and a bit of a relief, to see Carolina embrace it all so freely. 

Big news: Museum day with Papa & no pee in diapers!

I stand corrected. Papa planned to take Carolina to the Brooklyn Museum with two other families and their girls, so four adults and 3 girls all under the age of 6 at the museum. Looking at art. Meeting up at 1pm, you know, naptime. With over an hour on the subway each way. I thought, this is ABSOLUTELY a bad idea. I couldn't go, or rather I chose not to go as it was going to be tough to walk around and go up stairs and I'm tired enough as it is.

Papa didn't check his email that said the day before that the other two families weren't going to go anymore. So, he and Carolina headed out -- and she had been yawning saying she was tired. And apparently it went great. No complaining, no whining. They had a great time.

Even bigger news, she held her pee for when they arrived home instead of going in her diaper in the taxi. She waited! This is the third or fourth time we've been out and she had to go, and she decided she would wait. She's even gotten up in the middle of a TV show she likes and went to the bathroom herself, took off her pants and diaper and sat down to pee. And THEN told me she was done.

She likes to jump off the potty, with her pants around her ankles and then run around. She's tripped a few times, naturally, but she thinks it's funny.

She's earned the right to wear undies AND sit on the couch. Until recently we couldn't trust that she'd notify us since she had worn undies and peed all over her own little chair. Twice. So the rule was if you're on the couch, you're wearing a diaper.

But she's got the knack now.

In fact, there's only been pee in her diaper during nap or nighttime, and not always. And all the poop goes in the potty. THANK GOD. I had no idea how much easier it is to clean up than in a diaper. I'm happy and proud of our little girl.

Good thing she got this down before the baby comes. I'm sure there will be some regression, and probably potty time might suffer -- so we still have a large box of diapers just in case. But if not, then we'll just keep going. I think she'll enjoy the summer more in undies. Her little hiney was really, really sweaty last summer.

UPDATE: We're going to move this summer; we've decided. I've got a tentative spot held for Carolina at the school that I want to send her to, too. She's still having nightmares and the other night was calling out for me, and then stopped. I don't think she even woke up. Head banging is back, even during naptime, which is very unusual. So I'm giving her melatonin drops to help make her drowsy earlier at night. After moaning and banging for over an hour and a half late last week, I had enough of listening to her try to calm herself down. We'll do this for a week and then see how it goes. I know that moving will be a big adjustment for her. Plus having a brother. Plus a new school. It's a lot at once. But it's time. So, like taking off a sticky bandage, we're going to rip it off as quickly as possible and get it all over with at once.

School meeting with the teacher

I had a meeting with Carolina's teacher. It seems that there wasn't any hitting but a boy in her class (and apparently there are more boys than girls on the days she goes) pushed her near her face when she was sitting next to him and leaned over to see what he was doing. He wanted her to go away and leave him alone.

Then later that day, while he was doing something on the floor, she went near to see what he was doing and he pushed her again.

Both times the teacher told the little boy not to do that, to be gentle, no pushing, be nice. But Carolina cried the first time because she was scared/surprised. Apparently this little boy is particularly aggressive and mouthy.

I also found out that the boy's name she's been telling me is her friend, is actually a boy that is very similar in temperament to Carolina. So it makes sense she likes him so much and refers to him as a friend by name. I honestly wasn't sure if he was a real boy in her class or someone she made up. This is because, she will sometimes tell me her cousin, Angela, plays with her, too. But Angela is in Mexico.

I understand now that she pushes kids away, too. And as sweet and sensitive as she is, she will definitely stand her ground and has no problem telling other kids to be nice or leave her alone. I'm not sure if that's more like me or my husband, but either way, I'm proud that she's able to balance her space with her reactions to others intruding, depending on the situation. Especially since mostly she's verbal about it.

This is less bad that I had originally thought, but I'm still not happy about it. I understand there are kids that are, just by their personality, more aggressive or physical. And there are times to push and yell when you're this age to express yourself. I get it. I really do. And I also understand that she's trying out this new behavior at home to see where the boundaries are and what is acceptable at home versus at school.

I still don't like it.

I don't see leaving her at this school for a very long time but unless we move, I've little other choice. Unless I take her out of school entirely.

The other schools in the neighborhood are the same or worse. There are other schools that have much better reputations, cost a ton more, and (at this point more importantly) require us having a car to bring her. Taking the bus or train for upwards of an hour a day to just pick her up (so 30 minutes there and home) with an infant isn't going to happen for me. Not forgetting the extra time it would take Ismael to take her there and still get to work on time. By car the same trip would take 10-15 minutes.

Is this the best we can do right now? I think so.

grumble, grumble

The one thing I did appreciate that the teacher said was after she found out from the director that I was having trouble with Carolina going home and being very wound up, she started to ask Carolina every time she was about to go home what she would do at home. Carolina invariably would tell her "eat pancakes", which is true many days for her lunch to have pancakes. And then the teacher would say that she would take a nap after that, since naps are good. If Carolina agreed or not, the teacher would emphasize that naps are a good idea and she should do it after she eats.

I appreciate the reinforcement and getting her mentally prepared for what would happen at home next, even though it's the same thing every time.