my memory: one of my finer gifts that is leaving me

I find that unlike when I get stressed out and I can't remember the thought I just had, I'm forgetting things more frequently. It's very much like someone coming by and shaking your head like an etch-a-sketch and the thought it gone. All I'm left with is the knowledge that I just had a thought, there were words and probably some action I was about to take, and now it's disappeared. Poof!

For someone who has minor control issues and who prides herself on being able to remember details when others can't, I find this puzzling. I go between feeling very frustrated about it and caring. Mostly it's the times when I know I was about to do something and now I can't remember what it was, that gets me frustrated. It happens just as much at work as at home. I often remember later, or at least I think it's often. Maybe it's not. I'm beginning to wonder if it really matters anyway. I haven't forgotten anything crucial yet and maybe I'm more interesting person for not always remembering.

I do my very best to laugh about it and when it happens in front of others, especially at work, I poke fun at myself. No one else seems to be surprised or bothered by it. Whenever I get pregnant again I'm going to be MUCH better at it :)

Sometimes what I do is I give in to the forgetful/blank moments and work on reading about things I'm told I should have for the baby. So I've been spending more time online reading up on products, and seeing what's available to buy.

I really hate the idea of having SO MUCH stuff around. It's probably a control thing again.

My latest thing is bottles, a baby wrap or sling, and dealing with walking more slowly and being okay with just missing the train. I am just not running after it. I used to be a good fast-walker-commuter type. Nope. Now I walk at a speed that is comfortable, going up the stairs and being happy when people pass me, and breathe.

I've had acid/stomach problems for at least the past 13 years. It's really a lot more fun now. No, I'm kidding, it's not. What has been totally awesome is my skin. I guess I got a much better immune system in place of a good memory. Which, honestly, is something I'm happy to trade on when I remember it.

No acne for the past 7 months until this past week. I've had 2 colds and 1 bout of allergies. Didn't take anything for it. The skin rash I get on my head hasn't acted up until I got this allergy problem over a week ago. So I'm like 98% over the allergies, and nearly don't need to blow my nose all the time. My eyes are still a bit dry and I drink a LOT but that's probably more pregnancy related than allergies. I've known for a long time it was my immune system not doing it's 'job' that my stomach has trouble with so many foods, that then my skin reacts like it does. I just hope Tiny Dancer doesn't have this problem. But if she does, I at least know what it is and the best way to deal is eat fresh fruit and veggies and less bread. Crazy but true.

Speaking of Tiny Dancer's name, we started to talk about names again. I always feel like when I say a name I'm thinking of for her, when I say it out loud, it's like I'm committing to it. So I don't say them often. I want to make sure it sounds nice. She'll be teased in school no matter what, and we'll do our best to not give her anything obvious to mock. More importantly, I really hope we do a good job teaching her how to have self-confidence so it doesn't matter if they tease her or not.

I finally really understand what my mom meant when she'd tell us she didn't care if we had been boys or girls just that we were healthy. She really meant it. I mean it when I say it now, too.

And you know, I was going to write something else and it's just slipped my mind! LOL... no joke. I'm going to get a glass of water. She's kicking so clearly she's interested in me walking around anyway :)