Last night she didn't sleep for long stretches after basically sleeping all afternoon because of her immuno shots. I was thinkg, great she will nap today!! Uh, not so much.
All day. Two naps of just under an hour a piece.
For those of you without babies, that's pretty intense. Staying up 4+ hours without a nap. They usually sleep once every 2 hrs. Especially since she is clearly overtired. We can get her to relax and nearly nearly be asleep for good. Then she wakes herself up.
I even gave her an early bath at 5pm hoping that would help her relax.
Sigh...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sleeps all day, parties all night?
In retribution for getting herself up wicked early, miss carolina has virtually slept through today. I don't care about the schedule today. I'm so glad she is just sleeping. I even got the Dream Team to tell me it's okay for no schedules prior to four months. Plus we bought a second AC unit today. May god love my husband for buying and installing it today while I was at back dr and WHILE she was napping in the same room. I think the constant white noise from it and the cooler temperature helped her out.
And, again, I am just relieved she is sleeping today.
I had some nightmareish thoughts that she'd keep herself up all day and that would have sent me over the edge with worry.
I need to stop taking her so seriously. That sounds wrong but I think that is more of what I should do. Hang a bit more loose. I make more milk than she needs recently. So everyone's advice has helped. And she sleeps, on average, enough based on the range for her age. That it's not in big chunks when *I* would prefer. Well I may just need to get over myself.
Tomorrow is her two-month checkup. Complete with immuno shots. Don't forget the infant Tylenol!! And I'm glad my mom will stay for a bit after the visit. I can use having another adult around for help tomorrow! :)
And, again, I am just relieved she is sleeping today.
I had some nightmareish thoughts that she'd keep herself up all day and that would have sent me over the edge with worry.
I need to stop taking her so seriously. That sounds wrong but I think that is more of what I should do. Hang a bit more loose. I make more milk than she needs recently. So everyone's advice has helped. And she sleeps, on average, enough based on the range for her age. That it's not in big chunks when *I* would prefer. Well I may just need to get over myself.
Tomorrow is her two-month checkup. Complete with immuno shots. Don't forget the infant Tylenol!! And I'm glad my mom will stay for a bit after the visit. I can use having another adult around for help tomorrow! :)
Because waking up at 3am seemed like a good idea at the time
That's at least what my daughter must have thought. She was all smiley and awake. In fact she was awake, mostly silently, for the better part of the following hour after I fed her. During that time I threw out my neck. Have this cough that won't go away, paired with constantly looking down to check and adjust she is latchedon correctly. Which is hard enough during daylight hours and nearly impossible at night with only a night light to help.
So Ismael is going in late to work so I can go to the back dr when he opens at 11am.
She just fell asleep and was exhausted. The room is too hot and bright in my opinion. During the day. Maybe that is encouraging her not to settle down? Maybe it's that she can see us well and is watching more and more.
However I found the position to hold her to get her to relax like in the DVD, I've totally lost it. She fights it so hard and screams so loud. It's frustrating.
The less she sleeps during the day, the less she sleeps at night. I need a magic fairy godmother to help with some fairy dust. :)
So Ismael is going in late to work so I can go to the back dr when he opens at 11am.
She just fell asleep and was exhausted. The room is too hot and bright in my opinion. During the day. Maybe that is encouraging her not to settle down? Maybe it's that she can see us well and is watching more and more.
However I found the position to hold her to get her to relax like in the DVD, I've totally lost it. She fights it so hard and screams so loud. It's frustrating.
The less she sleeps during the day, the less she sleeps at night. I need a magic fairy godmother to help with some fairy dust. :)
Monday, July 27, 2009
she sleeps but not quite what i had hoped
Taking her out for a quick brunch in the neighborhood with Jee on Saturday proved to be our undoing in terms of her napping. Maybe it wasn't the fun afternoon outside for 2 hours, but she didn't nap well after that and was up every 1.5-2 hours that night.
Same thing yesterday, too. After we get her to go to sleep about 6 or 7pm, she will sleep for 3-4 hours straight (4.5 hours straight on Friday night) and then up every 1.5-2 hours after that.
She'll do a 7.30am-ish nap after she gets up at 6am, but then after that it's a struggle. Even if she's very tired.
She does the get-up-at-6-am very well. It's the only thing we've actually set a schedule for her from day one. I'm wondering if we had been able to schedule more other milestones had this not been easier. I'm now starting to do my best to figure out set milestones so I can get some sleep.
So 6am up, and I'm working hard on 6pm down.
Everything in between those hours is a crap shoot. And I'm having a heck of a time finding that position that I found the first day that calms her down. The one from Happiest Baby on the Block. I know it exists, I found it once or twice. But it's hard to. And it's murder on my lower back once I do find it. I'm certain there's a better way to hold her and still get that position. I just don't know what it is yet. Still working on it.
At least I know better than to take her on to the subway after 5pm. God, that was so dumb!
She's crying again, now, and won't fall asleep. But she has 'tired cry' and yawns. The hiccups woke her up a moment after she settled down about 30 minutes ago. I'm wondering how long I can not run into the bedroom to pick her up. She's very cute. It's hard to resist.
Sometimes I miss her when she sleeps for longer than 3 hours. That's only when I'm awake, mind you. If I'm also sleeping, I don't miss seeing her. I'm just grateful we're all sleeping.
Am I expecting too much from a 8 week old?
Still crying on and off, and sounds so very very tired. It's been 4 minutes. If she'd only just let herself fall asleep. If only I could figure out what it is that's keeping her up. Shit this is hard :)
10 MINTUES LATER:
She's totally asleep. I went in when the crying got really intense. She calmed down a little when I held her but still kept up the crying. So I swaddled her tightly (like the DVD said) and tried to find the calming-reflex position. Still not much luck. So I remembered the night she slept for 4.5 hours we played her one of the DVD's "womb sounds". I put it on, a little less fussing. I made it louder, bingo! Inside of a few seconds she was more relaxed, and now I just put her down. I hope she sleeps.
The womb sounds aren't calming to me but if it works for her, then I don't care.
Our room gets quite warm during the day and having her sleep in the living room where the A/C is gets really awkward since I can't do anything and I just don't like having her sleep in front of 9-foot-tall. It's just weird to me. So I'm off to find the smallest A/C unit I can to get for our room. Poor thing was all sweaty yesterday after a semi-nap and I'm sure it was only semi since she was too hot. I could be wrong, but she was too hot either way.
Same thing yesterday, too. After we get her to go to sleep about 6 or 7pm, she will sleep for 3-4 hours straight (4.5 hours straight on Friday night) and then up every 1.5-2 hours after that.
She'll do a 7.30am-ish nap after she gets up at 6am, but then after that it's a struggle. Even if she's very tired.
She does the get-up-at-6-am very well. It's the only thing we've actually set a schedule for her from day one. I'm wondering if we had been able to schedule more other milestones had this not been easier. I'm now starting to do my best to figure out set milestones so I can get some sleep.
So 6am up, and I'm working hard on 6pm down.
Everything in between those hours is a crap shoot. And I'm having a heck of a time finding that position that I found the first day that calms her down. The one from Happiest Baby on the Block. I know it exists, I found it once or twice. But it's hard to. And it's murder on my lower back once I do find it. I'm certain there's a better way to hold her and still get that position. I just don't know what it is yet. Still working on it.
At least I know better than to take her on to the subway after 5pm. God, that was so dumb!
She's crying again, now, and won't fall asleep. But she has 'tired cry' and yawns. The hiccups woke her up a moment after she settled down about 30 minutes ago. I'm wondering how long I can not run into the bedroom to pick her up. She's very cute. It's hard to resist.
Sometimes I miss her when she sleeps for longer than 3 hours. That's only when I'm awake, mind you. If I'm also sleeping, I don't miss seeing her. I'm just grateful we're all sleeping.
Am I expecting too much from a 8 week old?
Still crying on and off, and sounds so very very tired. It's been 4 minutes. If she'd only just let herself fall asleep. If only I could figure out what it is that's keeping her up. Shit this is hard :)
10 MINTUES LATER:
She's totally asleep. I went in when the crying got really intense. She calmed down a little when I held her but still kept up the crying. So I swaddled her tightly (like the DVD said) and tried to find the calming-reflex position. Still not much luck. So I remembered the night she slept for 4.5 hours we played her one of the DVD's "womb sounds". I put it on, a little less fussing. I made it louder, bingo! Inside of a few seconds she was more relaxed, and now I just put her down. I hope she sleeps.
The womb sounds aren't calming to me but if it works for her, then I don't care.
Our room gets quite warm during the day and having her sleep in the living room where the A/C is gets really awkward since I can't do anything and I just don't like having her sleep in front of 9-foot-tall. It's just weird to me. So I'm off to find the smallest A/C unit I can to get for our room. Poor thing was all sweaty yesterday after a semi-nap and I'm sure it was only semi since she was too hot. I could be wrong, but she was too hot either way.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
I miss the pierogi lady's cheese and potato fresh pierogis on first ave and 7th St
just thought I'd mention it
sleep is a good thing
Since getting the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD, we've had two nights and one day to try it out. Both nights she's slept better than before.
Last night we put her to sleep at 7pm. She was a bit fussy and we let her cry for less than 10 minutes, but she fell asleep herself. It was whiny crying. Very difficult for me to ignore but Ismael was good about reassuring me to stay in the kitchen and let her be until it sounded more serious. We did. Thank god.
She slept for about an hour. I fed her quickly, she immediately fell back to sleep (barely even burped once) and then didn't get up for 3.5 hours!!! Then it was feed, a quick diaper change and she's asleep like a log. Look at these photos. She was awake at 6am, like she's always been scheduled to. Ready to get fed and a bath. She was restful, smiling, a little laugh. She was calm and pleasant. She was, in a word, happy.
It lasted only about 10 minutes since after she ate she didn't burp much and I started the bath process. We had to stop after just washing her hair since there was gas. This was the retribution for not being able to burp her each time during the night. She basically would fall asleep, completely. So burping her was almost impossible. And pointless to lose any more sleep over it since we knew at some point, the burps and poop would make their ways out!
The photos are just before the bath process started and then after the gas pains stopped and I was finally able to put her onesie on. It's a size 3 months. Clearly still a little too big. She's too big for Newborn and too small for 3 months. So she's great in size 0-3 month onesies.
I wish I'd never stopped swaddling her. I thought her flailing arms to get out of swaddling meant she didn't like it. So we stopped. Little did we know that she wasn't expressing a desire but a physical reflex/movement. She needed to be swaddled the past 4 weeks and I had stopped about week 3-4. Around when she started to get 'colicky'. So maybe in my inexperience I helped create the problem. At least now I can help fix it.
I was re-reading the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" for babies weeks 7-8 (she's 8 weeks old today, in fact) and it said that infants this age shouldn't be awake for more than 2 hours at a stretch. I was like OH MY GOD, that's why she's so cranky. I'm allowing her to stay awake for too long during the day! Doh!
So much for not reading ahead to the weeks of age that she hasn't gotten to.
After her bath, she was up for a bit. She yawned. Once. At about 7.15. I started the winding down process and by 7.45am she was almost asleep, so I put her down. She fell asleep the rest of the way herself. She's been sleeping for over 30 minutes now. Woo hoo!!!
Light. Tunnel. Hope. Phew!
Friday, July 24, 2009
I think about Hawaii most days
And so when I saw this photo on flickr, while having Carolina on my lap happily sucking her pacifier, I wanted to share the image. http://www.flickr.com/photos/codya/2460185655
I've never surfed and was too embarrased (really, stupid me) to try it while in Maui. And yet I've been an admirer of surfing since I was about 12. The only reason I can think of is that I really liked my mom's wooden boat miniature from her trip to Honoulu in 1969 and just stared to look at photos. I've always loved photos of surfing, palm trees and the ocean.
I was telling Carolina a story this morning about travel. We didn't get to talk about Maui yet but I told her how even if we don't have a lot of things or live in the best neighborhood we will always "go to far away places." I explained that some far away places have people, trees, cars and buildings that are different. And some far away places look like here. But just going to the far away place makes it different because it's not "here". She promptly fell asleep. Either placated by my explanation of near and far and travel or bored by it. Either way she slept for about 40 minutes.
We watched the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD yesterday. Effing brilliant. Should be called How to get Your Fussy Infant to Turn Off the Crying in 2 Minutes or Less. She slept in two hour intervals. Woke to eat, quick burp and diaper change and then right back to sleep. No crying. No fussing. Not making mommy and daddy think she has reflux or require mylicon a bunch of times. None of that. Just sleep. Might not seem like much but to us it was wonderful. Gives me real hope for longer sleep during the night and a more expected schedule. I'd love to be able to go into the city to have lunch with friends and bring her by knowing when she will be up or sleeping.
Slowly we are scrapping our way to being knowledgeable parents. More know and less guess. Or more to the point, more to guess with and less desperate confusion or frustration. I've been told I am "scrappy" I suppose it's true.
God bless Aunt Julia for the suggestion. And Amazon for developing an iPhone app so I could buy it one handed in less than two minutes.
Next week we will start to try using the gDiapers that Aunt Jee gave us. She is now 9lb 7oz and chunky enough to give them a try.
I've never surfed and was too embarrased (really, stupid me) to try it while in Maui. And yet I've been an admirer of surfing since I was about 12. The only reason I can think of is that I really liked my mom's wooden boat miniature from her trip to Honoulu in 1969 and just stared to look at photos. I've always loved photos of surfing, palm trees and the ocean.
I was telling Carolina a story this morning about travel. We didn't get to talk about Maui yet but I told her how even if we don't have a lot of things or live in the best neighborhood we will always "go to far away places." I explained that some far away places have people, trees, cars and buildings that are different. And some far away places look like here. But just going to the far away place makes it different because it's not "here". She promptly fell asleep. Either placated by my explanation of near and far and travel or bored by it. Either way she slept for about 40 minutes.
We watched the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD yesterday. Effing brilliant. Should be called How to get Your Fussy Infant to Turn Off the Crying in 2 Minutes or Less. She slept in two hour intervals. Woke to eat, quick burp and diaper change and then right back to sleep. No crying. No fussing. Not making mommy and daddy think she has reflux or require mylicon a bunch of times. None of that. Just sleep. Might not seem like much but to us it was wonderful. Gives me real hope for longer sleep during the night and a more expected schedule. I'd love to be able to go into the city to have lunch with friends and bring her by knowing when she will be up or sleeping.
Slowly we are scrapping our way to being knowledgeable parents. More know and less guess. Or more to the point, more to guess with and less desperate confusion or frustration. I've been told I am "scrappy" I suppose it's true.
God bless Aunt Julia for the suggestion. And Amazon for developing an iPhone app so I could buy it one handed in less than two minutes.
Next week we will start to try using the gDiapers that Aunt Jee gave us. She is now 9lb 7oz and chunky enough to give them a try.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
What stresses mommy out...
So at about 11.30am all five of us leave to take the bus to Central Park. Figuring the bus may end up being less hassle than the subway. Put the kid in the car seat stroller and we are off.
She slept the whole way in and a good portion of walking through the Central Park entrance by the zoo/SE entrance. I keep checking her face to see if she is going to wake up and relieved when she is not.
We pick a place to sit and she awakes. Ok. Is she hungry? Yes. Only had 2oz and wanted to try breastfeeding in public with the cape again. So sit down, position the kid, put on the cape and get going. Easy, right? I effing hare that cape. I still need to see her and position her and me for it to work. Cape is all in the way I get embarrassed anyway. Inside my head there is a chorus of one, screaming and cursing. She barely eats, then has gas ('natch) and I don't know if she will need to eat again but I'm over it.
Keep trying to bd a good sport but I hate it. Unfortunately for me, I am way more embarrassed to whip out the boob and just feed her than to deal with the bloody cape. I should have also insisted on finding a bench and not the ground. Made it more complicated still.
Few things as awesomely chilled out as me, super stressed, anxious, embarrassed and feeling like I've failed in some small way. Getting over this anxiety was a failure of sorts in my head at the time.
So we go to get the bus home with the stroller and all the accoutrements. Raul y Paula stay in the city to shop and eat. So much s*** to bring on a bus for one baby. Good thing we had the bottle since she ate it on the ride home.
I'm desperately trying to get her to like/get used to the Peanut Shell or Ergo carrier we have. I much much prefer to be a "kangaroo mom" but she hates being constricted by slings and carriers. She wants to look around and be able to "stand up" when she has gas. Which, like today, has been 80% of her time since 6am.
She is actually lying on my legs since she passed out at 3pm after a quick feed from exhaustion. She was up almost constantly (few, brief naps) since 6am. Poor kid. Gas. Gotta keep her upright today which means I don't get to put her down much. And I still have no idea how to get her to be convinced to sleep. I read books. But this child is willful and more importantly full of gas. So can't be put down sometimes.
Having a child has made me face the fact that much of my decisions/decision process I'd fueled by my anxieties. I don't believe I'm the least bit unusual by this. It's just made More clear by raising this child.
She slept the whole way in and a good portion of walking through the Central Park entrance by the zoo/SE entrance. I keep checking her face to see if she is going to wake up and relieved when she is not.
We pick a place to sit and she awakes. Ok. Is she hungry? Yes. Only had 2oz and wanted to try breastfeeding in public with the cape again. So sit down, position the kid, put on the cape and get going. Easy, right? I effing hare that cape. I still need to see her and position her and me for it to work. Cape is all in the way I get embarrassed anyway. Inside my head there is a chorus of one, screaming and cursing. She barely eats, then has gas ('natch) and I don't know if she will need to eat again but I'm over it.
Keep trying to bd a good sport but I hate it. Unfortunately for me, I am way more embarrassed to whip out the boob and just feed her than to deal with the bloody cape. I should have also insisted on finding a bench and not the ground. Made it more complicated still.
Few things as awesomely chilled out as me, super stressed, anxious, embarrassed and feeling like I've failed in some small way. Getting over this anxiety was a failure of sorts in my head at the time.
So we go to get the bus home with the stroller and all the accoutrements. Raul y Paula stay in the city to shop and eat. So much s*** to bring on a bus for one baby. Good thing we had the bottle since she ate it on the ride home.
I'm desperately trying to get her to like/get used to the Peanut Shell or Ergo carrier we have. I much much prefer to be a "kangaroo mom" but she hates being constricted by slings and carriers. She wants to look around and be able to "stand up" when she has gas. Which, like today, has been 80% of her time since 6am.
She is actually lying on my legs since she passed out at 3pm after a quick feed from exhaustion. She was up almost constantly (few, brief naps) since 6am. Poor kid. Gas. Gotta keep her upright today which means I don't get to put her down much. And I still have no idea how to get her to be convinced to sleep. I read books. But this child is willful and more importantly full of gas. So can't be put down sometimes.
Having a child has made me face the fact that much of my decisions/decision process I'd fueled by my anxieties. I don't believe I'm the least bit unusual by this. It's just made More clear by raising this child.
Monday, July 20, 2009
a day of jesus and friends
Saturday we had the lactation consultant come over, which was rather traumatic for Carolina (which I'll get to in a sec) and then yesterday was her Christening. Another day of high stimulation.
She and I learned on Saturday that she is probably colicky (whatever that really means...) and not suffering from reflux. She's got gas. A lot. Often. So the fact she gets fussy later in the day, means that if I'm more diligent about minding her gas during the day -- by burping her, keeping her upright more often, giving her Mylicon (which is baby GasX), and gripe water -- that CAN mean that she'll suffer less as the day wears on.
Having my boob shoved into her mouth while she was gassy by the LC that at one point she screamed so intensely that her entire head was red and she was gasping for breath. I was willing to frustrate her so that we both learn how she is supposed to latch on to the boob, since she wasn't latching NEARLY enough. But when she gets hysterical, that's when I can't take it and so had the LC stop what she was trying and just burp her.
Poor thing was so overwhelmed by the experience she slept for 4 hours after 4pm, the LC left at about 12pm. She was just. very. tired. I made sure to breastfeed her for all subsequent feedings that night and following morning. I wanted her to practice the proper latch as well as comfort her instead of giving her a bottle. I felt really badly she had gotten so stressed and was in such discomfort.
I was proud of my girl. She learned quickly to latch better without me having to do much set up. Two times I let her not do it quite as well only because she was relaxed and I was more interested in her eating and not being stressed than doing it 'correctly.' The following morning she continued to improve and I've been super full of milk since then.
The other thing I learned was that if she's not latched correctly, not all my milk glands are being asked to work. So I think I'm working at capacity now. This also means she'll get more milk and not have to suck as hard but will have to work differently. She's started to sleep longer than an hour during the day and night at times, so already there's a change. Phew!
The next day, however, was her christening. She got up at 3am and ALMOST every hour after that. I think sleeping for 4 hours and then 2 hours immediately after that made her think that 3am was morning :) At about 7am, as usual, we gave her a bath and put on a onesie. I figured she'd nap a little between 8am and 1pm, before we had to go to the church for the 2pm ceremony.
I figured wrong.
She was basically awake with a few minutes of dozing until 12.00, when she passed out on the couch in line of the A/C for about 20-30 minutes. I was glad for her that she finally could relax enough to sleep but concerned how she'd handle the upcoming christening ceremony. There were 8 babies and their families in the church's chapel. I figured, another day of overstimulation and I wasn't looking forward to it.
After some expected fussing when we put on her 3 layered Christening outfit, she got a pacifier and calmed down. And then basically slept in Ismael's arms after we got to the church through the end of the ceremony. Slept through all the babies crying, families talking loudly, deacon speaking on the PA system, and having water and oil poured over her head and put on her neck.
I was more stressed the entire time than she was. I was glad she was in her dad's arms, no need for me to hold her and possibly change the balance of happy sleep she was in.
I hadn't realized that the chapel being so much smaller than the church there wouldn't be enough seating for all the families and friends. We had a LOT of people in attendance to support our daughter. I was really proud to have such a showing for her.
I always say that friends are the family you choose for yourself. I really believe that for our friends. Luckily we like our families too, so it makes it easier that we'd probably pick all of them to be in our families if we had the chance. It was just great to keep turning around to see who was there and see another couple or friend we invited sitting near us. If only Ismael's parents could have come, it would have been perfect.
We are glad that my cousin, Maria, and our close friend, Raul, agreed to be her godparents. They will certainly be good influences in her life and yet another excuse to visit them throughout her life.
But again, by poor girl suffered from gas and over-stimulation. So getting her back into the car seat to go home wasn't happening. My dad walked home with her while I went with my mom and Paula in the car. Ismael and Raul walked the presents and car seat stroller home. Once there, poor thing was still crying a lot. My dad continued to try to get her gas out but it wasn't totally working. So after getting changed quickly, I checked to see how hard she'd suck my finger (to test if she was hungry) and lo, she was. She refused to take the bottle from my dad, but it's possible she just didn't want the bottle even though she was clearly hungry and exhausted.
So I brought her to the bedroom, closed the door. Fed her myself for a good stretch of time, and she started to doze off. Then we bathed her, changed her into a onesie and tried to put her to sleep. She wasn't quite relaxed enough, so between saying goodbye to grandparents and then going back into the bedroom -- she finally fell asleep. For over 3 hours!
Poor kid was really exhausted in many ways.
Today, while the godfather and his wife are still in town, her father is thinking that we should go to Central Park with her. I'm nervous about yet ANOTHER day of stimulation and exhaustion for my poor kid. So we're thinking about it. I told him that I'd agree to go for a bit IF! it was on the bus (not the subway) and only if it was really early in the day (before 12pm).
So we'll see...
She and I learned on Saturday that she is probably colicky (whatever that really means...) and not suffering from reflux. She's got gas. A lot. Often. So the fact she gets fussy later in the day, means that if I'm more diligent about minding her gas during the day -- by burping her, keeping her upright more often, giving her Mylicon (which is baby GasX), and gripe water -- that CAN mean that she'll suffer less as the day wears on.
Having my boob shoved into her mouth while she was gassy by the LC that at one point she screamed so intensely that her entire head was red and she was gasping for breath. I was willing to frustrate her so that we both learn how she is supposed to latch on to the boob, since she wasn't latching NEARLY enough. But when she gets hysterical, that's when I can't take it and so had the LC stop what she was trying and just burp her.
Poor thing was so overwhelmed by the experience she slept for 4 hours after 4pm, the LC left at about 12pm. She was just. very. tired. I made sure to breastfeed her for all subsequent feedings that night and following morning. I wanted her to practice the proper latch as well as comfort her instead of giving her a bottle. I felt really badly she had gotten so stressed and was in such discomfort.
I was proud of my girl. She learned quickly to latch better without me having to do much set up. Two times I let her not do it quite as well only because she was relaxed and I was more interested in her eating and not being stressed than doing it 'correctly.' The following morning she continued to improve and I've been super full of milk since then.
The other thing I learned was that if she's not latched correctly, not all my milk glands are being asked to work. So I think I'm working at capacity now. This also means she'll get more milk and not have to suck as hard but will have to work differently. She's started to sleep longer than an hour during the day and night at times, so already there's a change. Phew!
The next day, however, was her christening. She got up at 3am and ALMOST every hour after that. I think sleeping for 4 hours and then 2 hours immediately after that made her think that 3am was morning :) At about 7am, as usual, we gave her a bath and put on a onesie. I figured she'd nap a little between 8am and 1pm, before we had to go to the church for the 2pm ceremony.
I figured wrong.
She was basically awake with a few minutes of dozing until 12.00, when she passed out on the couch in line of the A/C for about 20-30 minutes. I was glad for her that she finally could relax enough to sleep but concerned how she'd handle the upcoming christening ceremony. There were 8 babies and their families in the church's chapel. I figured, another day of overstimulation and I wasn't looking forward to it.
After some expected fussing when we put on her 3 layered Christening outfit, she got a pacifier and calmed down. And then basically slept in Ismael's arms after we got to the church through the end of the ceremony. Slept through all the babies crying, families talking loudly, deacon speaking on the PA system, and having water and oil poured over her head and put on her neck.
I was more stressed the entire time than she was. I was glad she was in her dad's arms, no need for me to hold her and possibly change the balance of happy sleep she was in.
I hadn't realized that the chapel being so much smaller than the church there wouldn't be enough seating for all the families and friends. We had a LOT of people in attendance to support our daughter. I was really proud to have such a showing for her.
I always say that friends are the family you choose for yourself. I really believe that for our friends. Luckily we like our families too, so it makes it easier that we'd probably pick all of them to be in our families if we had the chance. It was just great to keep turning around to see who was there and see another couple or friend we invited sitting near us. If only Ismael's parents could have come, it would have been perfect.
We are glad that my cousin, Maria, and our close friend, Raul, agreed to be her godparents. They will certainly be good influences in her life and yet another excuse to visit them throughout her life.
But again, by poor girl suffered from gas and over-stimulation. So getting her back into the car seat to go home wasn't happening. My dad walked home with her while I went with my mom and Paula in the car. Ismael and Raul walked the presents and car seat stroller home. Once there, poor thing was still crying a lot. My dad continued to try to get her gas out but it wasn't totally working. So after getting changed quickly, I checked to see how hard she'd suck my finger (to test if she was hungry) and lo, she was. She refused to take the bottle from my dad, but it's possible she just didn't want the bottle even though she was clearly hungry and exhausted.
So I brought her to the bedroom, closed the door. Fed her myself for a good stretch of time, and she started to doze off. Then we bathed her, changed her into a onesie and tried to put her to sleep. She wasn't quite relaxed enough, so between saying goodbye to grandparents and then going back into the bedroom -- she finally fell asleep. For over 3 hours!
Poor kid was really exhausted in many ways.
Today, while the godfather and his wife are still in town, her father is thinking that we should go to Central Park with her. I'm nervous about yet ANOTHER day of stimulation and exhaustion for my poor kid. So we're thinking about it. I told him that I'd agree to go for a bit IF! it was on the bus (not the subway) and only if it was really early in the day (before 12pm).
So we'll see...
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The Internet: distraction and seductress
Using the resources freely available online to help identify or diagnose anything medical is almost guaranteed to convince you of what you want to be true. It's like that episode of the Monkees where an evil baddie who is looking to control the world, takes over all TV channels and puts a hypnotic eyeball (some really awful kitchy prop) that mesmerizes anyone who watches it into a brainwashed zombie.
Kind of a stretch of an analogy but stay with me. If you keep reading similar things online that are general enough to be about a great number of diseases or maladies and specific enough to pertain to your set of symptoms, even if not quite exact, you could easily convince yourself you do or don't have something wrong with you.
The Internet is helping to convince me she has and simultaneously doesn't have reflux. So I'm putting the iPhone down now and won't read any more about it. Bloody anxiety. The prop eyeball is catching me on a weak day. Time to turn off the TV and sing Take the Last Train to Clarksville.
And yesterday was Carolina's first trip on the subway. Lesson for her parents is that she travels well when resting not when she has gas and is hungry. She so far hates the sling. Or at least tolerates it mildly. Kid wants to be able to see everything. The bing-bong noise when the subway car doors are about to close is too loud for her when she is awake. Strangers think she is adorable. She will cry loudly in Whole Foods if necessary. She loved, loved (or wide eyed terrified of) all the new sights and sounds. And was completely overstimulated to the point she didn't eat for over 3 hours and slept for nearly 4. Manhattan basically was like giving her crack or E. Poor kid. Wide eyed stimulation. Smaller doses next time or earlier in the day. Leaving the house at 7 and getting back at about 9. Bad mommy and daddy/papa, bad! (and we have the cutest photo of a good moment, too.)
Kind of a stretch of an analogy but stay with me. If you keep reading similar things online that are general enough to be about a great number of diseases or maladies and specific enough to pertain to your set of symptoms, even if not quite exact, you could easily convince yourself you do or don't have something wrong with you.
The Internet is helping to convince me she has and simultaneously doesn't have reflux. So I'm putting the iPhone down now and won't read any more about it. Bloody anxiety. The prop eyeball is catching me on a weak day. Time to turn off the TV and sing Take the Last Train to Clarksville.
And yesterday was Carolina's first trip on the subway. Lesson for her parents is that she travels well when resting not when she has gas and is hungry. She so far hates the sling. Or at least tolerates it mildly. Kid wants to be able to see everything. The bing-bong noise when the subway car doors are about to close is too loud for her when she is awake. Strangers think she is adorable. She will cry loudly in Whole Foods if necessary. She loved, loved (or wide eyed terrified of) all the new sights and sounds. And was completely overstimulated to the point she didn't eat for over 3 hours and slept for nearly 4. Manhattan basically was like giving her crack or E. Poor kid. Wide eyed stimulation. Smaller doses next time or earlier in the day. Leaving the house at 7 and getting back at about 9. Bad mommy and daddy/papa, bad! (and we have the cutest photo of a good moment, too.)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
it's true, i have no idea what i'm doing
So, last night at her 9pm feeding (which was more like 10pm), I basically forced her with the bottle to eat just over 2oz. Girl slept for almost 4 hours! She didn't wake up until 1am. Amazing. I couldn't get her to eat that much again, but almost. So 2nd time she slept until 3am. Again, very good. Then she was back to snacking only (even though it was all with the mighty nighttime bottle) and was up at 4, then 5, then 6. At 6 I fed her normally and then Ismael gave her a bath.
Well, it is hopeful that it is at least possible for her to sleep that much and eat that much. I've been trying all morning to get her to breastfeed more than 3-5 minutes. No such luck. This girl can't be persuaded, at least not with any of the techniques I know of. She then goes back to sleep. Gets up within the hour. Same as usual.
At least she's not spitting up (just watch, now that I said that she'll do it constantly today) and not screaming. Again, just watch... Seems that the screaming is hungry. But even when the boob is in her mouth while she's crying, she won't take it sometimes until I keep rocking it into her mouth repeatedly.
God I'm looking forward to that lactation consultant coming this weekend to observe and help. I feel really useless, or at least ineffectual.
I swear right now, the night she sleeps for more than 5 hours, I'm having a frickin party. Party!!!
Wish us luck with today...
Well, it is hopeful that it is at least possible for her to sleep that much and eat that much. I've been trying all morning to get her to breastfeed more than 3-5 minutes. No such luck. This girl can't be persuaded, at least not with any of the techniques I know of. She then goes back to sleep. Gets up within the hour. Same as usual.
At least she's not spitting up (just watch, now that I said that she'll do it constantly today) and not screaming. Again, just watch... Seems that the screaming is hungry. But even when the boob is in her mouth while she's crying, she won't take it sometimes until I keep rocking it into her mouth repeatedly.
God I'm looking forward to that lactation consultant coming this weekend to observe and help. I feel really useless, or at least ineffectual.
I swear right now, the night she sleeps for more than 5 hours, I'm having a frickin party. Party!!!
Wish us luck with today...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Is it reflux, just gas, just needy, or am I really a bad mom?
I pose this question less out of guilt or self pity and more out of genuine interest.
After I spoke with my favorite lactation consultant this morning, after a mildly hellish night and morning for me, I wonder if this tiny dancer has reflux. First and foremost *I* have a problem. I haven't been eating nearly enough nor drinking enough water, so I'm not making enough milk for a filling feed. I always have some milk but I never get "full" enough if you know what I mean.
My long-time "secret" is a mild eating disorder is likely exposed and the culprit. Well, it's really an eating problem relationship with food. Get stressed and/or depressed, lose interest in eating compounded by the almost always present concern about getting too fat, a history of too much stomach acid and ulcers, plus a recently (past 10 years) stressed immune system that results in a multitde of food "allergies", and you have yourself someone who doesn't eat well even though she loves talking about food, pictures of food, recipes, going out to eat. It is strange but true. And now, I think, my baby is directly suffering from this.
As of now, she doesn't eat as much as she should for her weight (8lb 11oz) and age (6 weeks). She "should" be sleeping for 3-4 hours a stretch (at least two hours) and should be nursing about 20 minutes when she does. Not this one. Gets up about hourly to "snack" for about 5-10 minutes TOPS. She doesn't spit up all the time but sometimes spits up silently and it look like she gave back whatever wasn't fitting in her belly.
She gets a ton of gas when breastfeeding, and the past two weeks or so has decided that most daytime naps (when she is willing to have them) need to be on my lap with my legs up so she's basically sleeping upright-ish. She doesn't scream a lot but the past two days has done it much more so. She has started to do this blood curdling/scared and almost completely inconsolable screaming cry. I can't tell what starts it and why she stops is just as much of a mystery. She is then so hysterical, and often simultaneously hungry, that either she won't latch on at all or will and takes in so much air at the same time that she's insanely gassy. She is also overtired and getting her to relax and sleep in her crib is sometimes impossible. And if you lay her down on her back, to change her diaper for example, with a half hour of feeding her she will either spit up, get hiccups, or both.
What makes me wonder if it's the need to be held or reflux is just that. Her need to be held up so often. I'm not eating or drinking enough since I'm holding her or bouncing her up and down most of the day. So I dont make enough milk... The cycle goes on. Fun, right?? :)
May the suggestions and advice from other mommies (and, well, anyone) begin!
After I spoke with my favorite lactation consultant this morning, after a mildly hellish night and morning for me, I wonder if this tiny dancer has reflux. First and foremost *I* have a problem. I haven't been eating nearly enough nor drinking enough water, so I'm not making enough milk for a filling feed. I always have some milk but I never get "full" enough if you know what I mean.
My long-time "secret" is a mild eating disorder is likely exposed and the culprit. Well, it's really an eating problem relationship with food. Get stressed and/or depressed, lose interest in eating compounded by the almost always present concern about getting too fat, a history of too much stomach acid and ulcers, plus a recently (past 10 years) stressed immune system that results in a multitde of food "allergies", and you have yourself someone who doesn't eat well even though she loves talking about food, pictures of food, recipes, going out to eat. It is strange but true. And now, I think, my baby is directly suffering from this.
As of now, she doesn't eat as much as she should for her weight (8lb 11oz) and age (6 weeks). She "should" be sleeping for 3-4 hours a stretch (at least two hours) and should be nursing about 20 minutes when she does. Not this one. Gets up about hourly to "snack" for about 5-10 minutes TOPS. She doesn't spit up all the time but sometimes spits up silently and it look like she gave back whatever wasn't fitting in her belly.
She gets a ton of gas when breastfeeding, and the past two weeks or so has decided that most daytime naps (when she is willing to have them) need to be on my lap with my legs up so she's basically sleeping upright-ish. She doesn't scream a lot but the past two days has done it much more so. She has started to do this blood curdling/scared and almost completely inconsolable screaming cry. I can't tell what starts it and why she stops is just as much of a mystery. She is then so hysterical, and often simultaneously hungry, that either she won't latch on at all or will and takes in so much air at the same time that she's insanely gassy. She is also overtired and getting her to relax and sleep in her crib is sometimes impossible. And if you lay her down on her back, to change her diaper for example, with a half hour of feeding her she will either spit up, get hiccups, or both.
What makes me wonder if it's the need to be held or reflux is just that. Her need to be held up so often. I'm not eating or drinking enough since I'm holding her or bouncing her up and down most of the day. So I dont make enough milk... The cycle goes on. Fun, right?? :)
May the suggestions and advice from other mommies (and, well, anyone) begin!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
That's the last time I complement you!
After I wrote how great she was the other morning. It's been an assortment of tummy upset and calm moments. Poor kid hasn't been sleeping as well. Damn mommy and her desire to eat an ice cream sundae. God it was good but I still dont think it's worth the pain it causes this little one. Thank god the husband is so awesome and let me sleep both nights for about 4-5 hours.
We went for our first afternoon car trip to manhattan to get books from the Scholastic store and then the dredded sundae. We had to stop the car twice and take her out of the car seat to comfort her. She was working on a massive poop that just wouldn't come. So mom and I went to the store and Ismael and my dad stayed in the car with her. Worked out well. She pooped and I changed her in the backseat when we got to the car. Then she slept during ice cream and ride home. Makes me think it's possible to go to the beach for the weekend in Sept. And that in some ways it'll be easier to travel be bus and subway than car. At least that way I can hold her as necessary and not worry about traffic or pulling over. If only I was less shy about breastfeeding in public, even with a wrap cover, we could go out more with her. Since mow I have to pump enough beforehand.
By the time we work this all out, it'll be the next phase of her life. So at least we can use our "expertise" on the next kids. Yes I think there will be more. Just not now :)
We went for our first afternoon car trip to manhattan to get books from the Scholastic store and then the dredded sundae. We had to stop the car twice and take her out of the car seat to comfort her. She was working on a massive poop that just wouldn't come. So mom and I went to the store and Ismael and my dad stayed in the car with her. Worked out well. She pooped and I changed her in the backseat when we got to the car. Then she slept during ice cream and ride home. Makes me think it's possible to go to the beach for the weekend in Sept. And that in some ways it'll be easier to travel be bus and subway than car. At least that way I can hold her as necessary and not worry about traffic or pulling over. If only I was less shy about breastfeeding in public, even with a wrap cover, we could go out more with her. Since mow I have to pump enough beforehand.
By the time we work this all out, it'll be the next phase of her life. So at least we can use our "expertise" on the next kids. Yes I think there will be more. Just not now :)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Take what you can get
Yesterday and today are so far good. Sleeping about two hours between feedings at night and a mix of awake (mostly) and sleeping during the day. Still not much to no napping for mommy since daytime sleep is still less than an hour at a time but I'll take my primarily happy baby over sleep at this point. We are looking forward to maybe seeing a friend for lunch.
I think my mom may have been right. I should have (and past 3 days have) eat more fruit. Helps my digestion and clearly has reduced her gas and explosive poops. There is still plenty of gas and poops, it's just been less "aggressive" the past 2 days. Phew! Fingers crossed this is more the norm than not. But I'll take what I can get when I can get it!
Of course since she's been eating almost every hour and won't take any water or room-temperature chamomile tea, she has been spitting up since she's putting in more than her stomach has room for. But she's grown almost another inch in a week so clearly there is a growth spurt afoot!
I think my mom may have been right. I should have (and past 3 days have) eat more fruit. Helps my digestion and clearly has reduced her gas and explosive poops. There is still plenty of gas and poops, it's just been less "aggressive" the past 2 days. Phew! Fingers crossed this is more the norm than not. But I'll take what I can get when I can get it!
Of course since she's been eating almost every hour and won't take any water or room-temperature chamomile tea, she has been spitting up since she's putting in more than her stomach has room for. But she's grown almost another inch in a week so clearly there is a growth spurt afoot!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
A shout out to the Mexican
In my overly tired state I've neglected to give a shout out (if I'm not too old to do that, although it's tacky) to my husband. The man has taken the "first shift" of feedings for weeks. Using the milk I pump to bottle feed her until about 2am. That means, in particular the last two nights when I was genuinely delirious, that I was able to sleep from about 10pm until 2am almost completely uninterrupted. Hooray for my husband!!
Strangely it doesn't make me feel more rested but just less insane/tortured. Which is a welcomed improvement. Especially since she got her six-week immunizing shot of HepB. So yesterday was very special.
At least she slept well last night and is almost totally pleasant today so far. Spit up twice since I let her eat a little too much and too close together feedings AND to complete the trifecta I let her asleep in the crib too soon after the feeding. Ah bad mommy!!
Strangely it doesn't make me feel more rested but just less insane/tortured. Which is a welcomed improvement. Especially since she got her six-week immunizing shot of HepB. So yesterday was very special.
At least she slept well last night and is almost totally pleasant today so far. Spit up twice since I let her eat a little too much and too close together feedings AND to complete the trifecta I let her asleep in the crib too soon after the feeding. Ah bad mommy!!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Heat, hot water and gas included
When my parents babysit, she sleeps a lit and often and then won't sleep that night. My dad is totally convinced it's because they keep her in the living room where the A/C is and keep it dark. I think the dark part, during the day, is creepy. And still unsure if she gets THAT hot but we moved her crib thing into the living room today as a test.
After her immunization shot (what fun) this morning, she came home and slept for nearly 2 hours before I woke her up. Then she was kind of cranky on and off for about 3 hours... The pain in her leg kept coming back. And now she is sleeping. Sang saved the day by going to the drugstore for an emergency run on infant Tylenol. She was too inconsolable for me to take her out. Thank god he was around and willing. Phew!!
I'm nervous to leave her in the living room. Afraid I won't hear her until she's really crying. And that she might get too cold. All fixable things. It's just that she's usually about an arm's reach away. I am clearly more anxious about this change than she is. I still have to pinch myself and say I'm someone's mom. It is still a weird concept. Although for a few, brief months it was totally weird I had a husband and was someone's wife, and giggled every time I referred to him as "my husband". But I got used to that pretty quick.
I think the only true reason her sleeping in the living room will be a problem is that it us the living room. It's the middle of all the rooms and gives us no chance to be awake without her. So we may need to get a smaller A/C unit for her room and just move her in there.
I've been thinking a lot about playing the piano. Wherever we live next, i'd like to get an upright and play for her. We were listening to some classical music today and then a "swinging martini" mix from iTunes. She really digs the smooth music. I'm wondering if we should give her to Howard for an afternoon. He's got some reall chill music at his place.
After her immunization shot (what fun) this morning, she came home and slept for nearly 2 hours before I woke her up. Then she was kind of cranky on and off for about 3 hours... The pain in her leg kept coming back. And now she is sleeping. Sang saved the day by going to the drugstore for an emergency run on infant Tylenol. She was too inconsolable for me to take her out. Thank god he was around and willing. Phew!!
I'm nervous to leave her in the living room. Afraid I won't hear her until she's really crying. And that she might get too cold. All fixable things. It's just that she's usually about an arm's reach away. I am clearly more anxious about this change than she is. I still have to pinch myself and say I'm someone's mom. It is still a weird concept. Although for a few, brief months it was totally weird I had a husband and was someone's wife, and giggled every time I referred to him as "my husband". But I got used to that pretty quick.
I think the only true reason her sleeping in the living room will be a problem is that it us the living room. It's the middle of all the rooms and gives us no chance to be awake without her. So we may need to get a smaller A/C unit for her room and just move her in there.
I've been thinking a lot about playing the piano. Wherever we live next, i'd like to get an upright and play for her. We were listening to some classical music today and then a "swinging martini" mix from iTunes. She really digs the smooth music. I'm wondering if we should give her to Howard for an afternoon. He's got some reall chill music at his place.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sleep all day, dance all night
So now I'm eating more fruit so this tiny dancer stays more regular. Except for the very ocassional two-hour sleep. She is solidly a one hour sleeper these days. It's a new kind of mommy and daddy exhaustion. She gets up, immediately has gas or poops, then is starving, fts a changed diaper somewhere in there, then either more gas (and sometimes served with a side of hiccups) or immediately passes out.
So much hourly sleeping today and snack eating, I fear tonight will be light on sleep. But how do you force an infant to stay awake? There are some tactics but I'm not convinced they are worth the possible negative payback with a one month old.
Sigh
PS is anyone else ad obsessed with Thai sticky rice like I am?
So much hourly sleeping today and snack eating, I fear tonight will be light on sleep. But how do you force an infant to stay awake? There are some tactics but I'm not convinced they are worth the possible negative payback with a one month old.
Sigh
PS is anyone else ad obsessed with Thai sticky rice like I am?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
I heart the pediatrician and Mrs Dunstan
So yesterday we went to the pediatrician to have him look at her baby acne and talk about her increasing spitting up. The dr's suggestion of interrupting her feeding after she's taken about one ounce has helped tremendously. We give her a chance to burp or at least digest. She has been eating less but also crying and fussing/uncomfortable much less too. She weighed in at 8lb 8oz yesterday. I said, so that's why she has such chunky folds in her neck and legs and the diaper is a bit more snug. Over a pound gained in a little over a week. My little chunky monkey was over eating a bit.
Then today the Dunstan DVD arrived. I watched the first lesson. While watching with her in my hands she started to do the Eh word. Brilliant. You need to burp. So instead of bouncing her I burped her upright over my hand. Excellent. She then calmed down. Gave her a quick diaper change. No screaming again. Burped again after more Eh and now she's sleeping on my shoulder. There was the Owh word too which is tired. I'm still not sure how to help her fall asleep except to shhhh quietly and smoothly in her ear but at least I know how to identify the sound. Hooray for such a brilliant purchase! God bless amazon's iPhone app. Now I can buy things one handed and quickly. My husband is so pleased.
Then today the Dunstan DVD arrived. I watched the first lesson. While watching with her in my hands she started to do the Eh word. Brilliant. You need to burp. So instead of bouncing her I burped her upright over my hand. Excellent. She then calmed down. Gave her a quick diaper change. No screaming again. Burped again after more Eh and now she's sleeping on my shoulder. There was the Owh word too which is tired. I'm still not sure how to help her fall asleep except to shhhh quietly and smoothly in her ear but at least I know how to identify the sound. Hooray for such a brilliant purchase! God bless amazon's iPhone app. Now I can buy things one handed and quickly. My husband is so pleased.
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