So on Sunday, Carolina locked herself in the bathroom. Without clothes on. Having just gone pee pee in her potty. With the lights off. Sigh... so after about 10 minutes of trying, we called the police. Eventually, after another 10-20 minutes, and still not able to open the door from the other side (let's just chalk that up to inexperience with screwdrivers), I was able to talk Carolina into unlocking it from her side.
She didn't panic very much, which was surprising given the situation. But since our landlord had never put a correctly sized door on the bathroom (but a lock, yes?) there is about 2-3" of space below the door. So she could see us and we could play "toesies" and I could give her books, to which she said no to all of them. At least she could see me when I was on the floor talking to her. And so, eventually, after asking for the second or third time, she understood which part of the doorknob I meant (since I referred to it as the straight line she had turned earlier) and she did it.
So she got herself out!
And then the police came an hour later. I had since called 911 to cancel the request, but not surprisingly, the request wasn't cancelled. And these poor, totally hot and stressed out (but very friendly) cops came running up the stairs. I explained what happened and they looked relieved as it was possible that their delay meant a 2 year old was locked in a bathroom alone for just over an hour.
Then on Tuesday after school, Carolina tells me that someone pushed her and someone else hit her. I was not pleased as this isn't the first time I'm hearing that she's being pushed. During her nap, I called the director but no one answered. After briefly talking with my parents about it, and I should really know better than to tell my dad anything bad that happens to Carolina as he's very protective of her (I really called to talk to my mom, the teacher, but there you go they were both home) and he got pretty angry about it. They explained that as often as it seems to happen, it's a bad sign about how the classroom is run. I've no idea as she's our first and this is her first experience in school but it felt wrong.
I called the director again, who'd never gotten my message. Explained what I understood from Carolina and she went to talk to the teacher. The teacher told the director that yes, a little boy pushed Carolina out of the circle line but it wasn't a big deal so she didn't tell me. But since I'd called about this kind of thing two weeks ago, the director set up a meeting for me to speak to the teacher tomorrow morning after we drop off Carolina. So, I'll find out from a grown up's perspective what is happening.
It's really hard to get contextual information from a toddler, even one as chatty as my daughter. But what I'm going to struggle with, I'm guessing, is what the teacher sees and the context she observes it in and how my daughter is perceiving it. And I'm wondering if Carolina is doing anything to provoke this reaction. I'd be super-duper surprised if she is, and that would concern me more as it would be completely out of her personality to be an instigator. Anyway...
What really bothered me from the start was just after she started school she started to be more aggressive. She started to push us away and say 'no' or protest much more forcefully. I realize this is part of being a 3 year old, as she's really into protesting and procrastinating with things she doesn't want to do (go to sleep, put on clothes to go out, blah blah blah). It's just that it happened right away when she started going to school. So something is up, I just don't know what it is exactly or how much is expected adjustment vs. aggression from other kids. And they let the kids cry for what I understand (from other parents not my daughter) to be long periods of time. I'm certain this will stress out the other kids, especially one like Carolina who is very empathetic.
I really, really, really, really, really want to send her to this lovely Montessori school in Fort Lee. Really, really. It's really, really, expensive and moving is a pain, and a huge adjustment for a preschooler, and apartments there aren't cheaper and transportation will be more for commuting, and, ideally, we'd get a car, which is more money. So it's just all money we don't have flying out the window. But I really (have I mentioned really) want her in there. It is so calm and organized and focused and there's no yelling or screaming or crying. And I know enrollment for the fall is closed as it's already mid-April and they had enrollment in late March.
Ok, good, so now I'm stressing about money and a contraction starts. I should go wake up the sleeping beauty as it's been quite a long time for a nap and I could use a cup of tea. My allergies are really bad and I think it might be turning into a cold.
Tomorrow I'll be 36 weeks pregnant. This kid might not have dropped yet but my body is certainly getting ready. I'm ready. Let's go!
She didn't panic very much, which was surprising given the situation. But since our landlord had never put a correctly sized door on the bathroom (but a lock, yes?) there is about 2-3" of space below the door. So she could see us and we could play "toesies" and I could give her books, to which she said no to all of them. At least she could see me when I was on the floor talking to her. And so, eventually, after asking for the second or third time, she understood which part of the doorknob I meant (since I referred to it as the straight line she had turned earlier) and she did it.
So she got herself out!
And then the police came an hour later. I had since called 911 to cancel the request, but not surprisingly, the request wasn't cancelled. And these poor, totally hot and stressed out (but very friendly) cops came running up the stairs. I explained what happened and they looked relieved as it was possible that their delay meant a 2 year old was locked in a bathroom alone for just over an hour.
Then on Tuesday after school, Carolina tells me that someone pushed her and someone else hit her. I was not pleased as this isn't the first time I'm hearing that she's being pushed. During her nap, I called the director but no one answered. After briefly talking with my parents about it, and I should really know better than to tell my dad anything bad that happens to Carolina as he's very protective of her (I really called to talk to my mom, the teacher, but there you go they were both home) and he got pretty angry about it. They explained that as often as it seems to happen, it's a bad sign about how the classroom is run. I've no idea as she's our first and this is her first experience in school but it felt wrong.
I called the director again, who'd never gotten my message. Explained what I understood from Carolina and she went to talk to the teacher. The teacher told the director that yes, a little boy pushed Carolina out of the circle line but it wasn't a big deal so she didn't tell me. But since I'd called about this kind of thing two weeks ago, the director set up a meeting for me to speak to the teacher tomorrow morning after we drop off Carolina. So, I'll find out from a grown up's perspective what is happening.
It's really hard to get contextual information from a toddler, even one as chatty as my daughter. But what I'm going to struggle with, I'm guessing, is what the teacher sees and the context she observes it in and how my daughter is perceiving it. And I'm wondering if Carolina is doing anything to provoke this reaction. I'd be super-duper surprised if she is, and that would concern me more as it would be completely out of her personality to be an instigator. Anyway...
What really bothered me from the start was just after she started school she started to be more aggressive. She started to push us away and say 'no' or protest much more forcefully. I realize this is part of being a 3 year old, as she's really into protesting and procrastinating with things she doesn't want to do (go to sleep, put on clothes to go out, blah blah blah). It's just that it happened right away when she started going to school. So something is up, I just don't know what it is exactly or how much is expected adjustment vs. aggression from other kids. And they let the kids cry for what I understand (from other parents not my daughter) to be long periods of time. I'm certain this will stress out the other kids, especially one like Carolina who is very empathetic.
I really, really, really, really, really want to send her to this lovely Montessori school in Fort Lee. Really, really. It's really, really, expensive and moving is a pain, and a huge adjustment for a preschooler, and apartments there aren't cheaper and transportation will be more for commuting, and, ideally, we'd get a car, which is more money. So it's just all money we don't have flying out the window. But I really (have I mentioned really) want her in there. It is so calm and organized and focused and there's no yelling or screaming or crying. And I know enrollment for the fall is closed as it's already mid-April and they had enrollment in late March.
Ok, good, so now I'm stressing about money and a contraction starts. I should go wake up the sleeping beauty as it's been quite a long time for a nap and I could use a cup of tea. My allergies are really bad and I think it might be turning into a cold.
Tomorrow I'll be 36 weeks pregnant. This kid might not have dropped yet but my body is certainly getting ready. I'm ready. Let's go!
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