Thursday, April 19, 2012

School meeting with the teacher

I had a meeting with Carolina's teacher. It seems that there wasn't any hitting but a boy in her class (and apparently there are more boys than girls on the days she goes) pushed her near her face when she was sitting next to him and leaned over to see what he was doing. He wanted her to go away and leave him alone.

Then later that day, while he was doing something on the floor, she went near to see what he was doing and he pushed her again.

Both times the teacher told the little boy not to do that, to be gentle, no pushing, be nice. But Carolina cried the first time because she was scared/surprised. Apparently this little boy is particularly aggressive and mouthy.

I also found out that the boy's name she's been telling me is her friend, is actually a boy that is very similar in temperament to Carolina. So it makes sense she likes him so much and refers to him as a friend by name. I honestly wasn't sure if he was a real boy in her class or someone she made up. This is because, she will sometimes tell me her cousin, Angela, plays with her, too. But Angela is in Mexico.

I understand now that she pushes kids away, too. And as sweet and sensitive as she is, she will definitely stand her ground and has no problem telling other kids to be nice or leave her alone. I'm not sure if that's more like me or my husband, but either way, I'm proud that she's able to balance her space with her reactions to others intruding, depending on the situation. Especially since mostly she's verbal about it.

This is less bad that I had originally thought, but I'm still not happy about it. I understand there are kids that are, just by their personality, more aggressive or physical. And there are times to push and yell when you're this age to express yourself. I get it. I really do. And I also understand that she's trying out this new behavior at home to see where the boundaries are and what is acceptable at home versus at school.

I still don't like it.

I don't see leaving her at this school for a very long time but unless we move, I've little other choice. Unless I take her out of school entirely.

The other schools in the neighborhood are the same or worse. There are other schools that have much better reputations, cost a ton more, and (at this point more importantly) require us having a car to bring her. Taking the bus or train for upwards of an hour a day to just pick her up (so 30 minutes there and home) with an infant isn't going to happen for me. Not forgetting the extra time it would take Ismael to take her there and still get to work on time. By car the same trip would take 10-15 minutes.

Is this the best we can do right now? I think so.

grumble, grumble

The one thing I did appreciate that the teacher said was after she found out from the director that I was having trouble with Carolina going home and being very wound up, she started to ask Carolina every time she was about to go home what she would do at home. Carolina invariably would tell her "eat pancakes", which is true many days for her lunch to have pancakes. And then the teacher would say that she would take a nap after that, since naps are good. If Carolina agreed or not, the teacher would emphasize that naps are a good idea and she should do it after she eats.

I appreciate the reinforcement and getting her mentally prepared for what would happen at home next, even though it's the same thing every time.


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